I work in an academic library in which all employees, in theory, are subject to a wage freeze.  The Evil Director, a few months ago, made a point of telling me that she had tried to get me a bonus.  According to the E.D., the Dean felt that giving any bonuses would "send the wrong signal" in this economic environment."  Imagine my delight in learning that the E.D. had finagled herself a $20,000 "retention bonus." 

Oh, the signals--they burn!

Current Location: a bitter, bitter place
Current Mood: cynical

Just a run-of-the-mill gripe here.  Some mofo prof for whom I do research sent me an email with the subject line "Two quick things" (as always, the "quick" means "I need this quickly," not "this will be quick for you to do").

The email actually asked for research on *three* different topics.

THEN ten minutes later I get a SECOND email saying, "Oh, I forgot --the second thing I'd like your help with is [blah blah blah]."

I took some petty satisfaction from carefully numbering the requests in my response, but would have preferred to slap her.

Current Location: reference hell
Current Mood: cranky
Current Music: violent femmes

my first two patrons of the evening have already irked me,  both are university students but not law students.  The first one (mofo #1) wanted to get a Supreme Court "friend of the court" brief for a specific case.  Which of the six briefs did she want?  "The shortest one."  Okay, no problem; we've all been there.

Meanwhile the second patron (mofo #2) comes in and starts to ask me a question, even though mofo #1 is standing and I'm talking to her.  I tell mofo #2 I'll be back in a minute.

So I take her into the main reading room and show her how to get the brief on a computer.  I talk quietly.  All the students at nearby tables are quiet.  After waiting hopefully for her to get the hint and lower her loud, annoying voice, I finally have to ask mofo #1 to keep her voice down because "people are trying to study."  She looks at me like I'm from Mars, but does lower her voice.  For one question.  --then it's back to top volume.  (She had no trouble hearing me when I spoke quietly, so I'm sure she doesn't have a hearing disability.)

I return to the ref desk and say to mofo #2, "Sorry to make you wait.  What's up?" 

mofo #2: That's okay... though it was a really quick question." [classic midwestern passive-aggressiveness]

me:  Okay, what do you need?

[boring long ref interview where he gradually reveals what he wants--omitted]

me:  Okay, for the recent cases you can get them on LexisNexis Academic.  For some of the other ones, you'll need to use the books.

mofo #2:  Can't I get them on LexisNexis?

me:  Not all of them.  

mofo #2:  Are they on Westlaw?

me:  Yes, but our subscription to Westlaw is only for law students and faculty.

mofo #2:  This is for a constitutional law professor.

me:  at the law school?

mofo #2:  at the university.

me:  Then, sorry, no.

mofo #2:  You mean I have to find the cases in the books and, what, *photocopy* them?

me:  Yup.  It's not hard to find them with the information you have.

mofo #2:  But--photocopying them will take a long time.

me:  [thinking:  you better start now instead of whining, then, eh?]  Well, you only have two cases there--it won't be too bad.

mofo #2:  it would be easier to get them on Westlaw.

me: mmm-hmmm [translation:  go away and don't ever come back].

Current Location: ref desk hell
Current Mood: cranky

Dear Mr. Sensitive--

I'm sorry that you're "exceptionally sensitive to noise" so that the construction noise in the adjacent building is bothering you.  But no, we don't have any private study rooms on the first floor.  We have them on the second, third, and fourth floor.  No, we just don't have any private study rooms on the first floor. (I know I told you that once already, but apparently you weren't listening.)  Nope, we don't have any.  They are on the second, third, and fourth floors.  Hey, if you're so damn sensitive to noise, I'm surprised you can't hear what I'm telling you.  I'm very sorry, but we just don't have any private study rooms on the first floor.  You can take our books upstairs to a private study room--there's even an elevator.  Yes, no matter how exceptionally sensitive to noise you are, that doesn't mean we suddenly have any study rooms on the first floor.  (Heck, we could construct some, but that would probably be too noisy for you.)

Uncordially,

The Librarian Formerly Known As Sympathetic 

P.S.  If you ask me again whether we have any private study rooms on the *first* floor, I *will* kill you.

 

Tags: irked
Current Location: chez le ref desk